To the mom that just received her child’s diagnosis

I’ll never forget the day that we received our daughter’s Down Syndrome diagnosis at just 19 weeks pregnant.  There are so many things that I wish I had known then as we went into emotion overload during the following 3 weeks.  So, I decided to write a letter to the mother that is just receiving her child’s diagnosis in hopes that it will help relieve some of the emotions that I am sure she is feeling.  This is my perspective from when I received Stella’s diagnosis but maybe yours is different.

To the mom that just received her child’s diagnosis, I know that you are heartbroken beyond words.  

You feel like you’ve just received the worst possible news.  You heart breaks as you realize this is not the child that you dreamt about having.  The child that you always planned on having, was going to live a wonderful, happy life full of adventure, playdates, the occasional tantrum, school, dating, marriage and even having a child of their own one day.  You’re heart is breaking as you think of  your child missing out on any one of those things.  You cry because now all you see is your child growing up and being picked on and teased for being different.  You are sick to your stomach as you imagine the therapies and doctors appointments that she will have to endure just to do the basic things that other kids do.  The tears won’t stop  as you grieve the loss of what you thought you were getting.

To the mom that just received your child’s diagnosis, I know you are angry.  

You feel betrayed and you want someone to blame-maybe your husband, maybe the doctors, maybe yourself.  You are angry with God for letting this “happen” to your child.  It’s not fair!  You’ve done everything right!  You are a good person!  Why is this happening to you?!  You want to scream, kick and cry, IT’S NOT FAIR!

To the mom that just received your child’s diagnosis, I know you are scared.  

You have no idea how to raise a child with different needs.  You don’t feel qualified.  You’re not strong enough.  How can you possibly be a mother to this child?  God must have made a mistake, He chose the wrong person!  What if she/he doesn’t walk, talk, make friends… What if people make fun of her?  Can you handle all of that?  There’s no way you are equipped to raise this child!

To the mom that just received your child’s diagnosis, I know you are overwhelmed.  

You are feeling every emotion possible and feel like your heart may explode. I know you want to run away and hide.  Crying one minute and screaming the next, I see you.  You are full of anxiety and worry about your child’s future and your ability to raise her.  The pain and overwhelm is almost too much to bare.  You think, how can I possibly handle all of this?  Please, let this be a dream.  Please, take away this pain.

You’re going to be okay

To the mom that just received your child’s diagnosis, you’re going to be okay.  I know your heart is broken but I promise that soon, your child will fill it with so much joy.  The moment you lay eyes on her, you will know everything is going to be okay.  You will laugh more than you cry.  You will love harder than you ever have.  Your heart will break over and over again but it will also heal over and over again.  This child will show you what unconditional love really looks like. You will learn to be strong because she will teach you.  She will laugh, she will love, make friends, throw tantrums and be happy and so will you.

To the mom that just received your child’s diagnosis, you’re going to be okay.  I know you’re angry but it will subside.  The anger will soon be taken over by overwhelming love and joy.  You will let the blame go and accept that this is God’s plan and He always knows what He’s doing even if you don’t.  The anger may come back at some point, but when it comes it won’t stay long.  You will learn how to let it go and focus on the wonder that is your child.

To the mom that just received your child’s diagnosis, you’re going to be okay.  I know you are scared but you’ve got this!  You are not alone!  There is no greater community of mommas than the mommas of children with special needs.  We’ve got your back!  You will face some scary times but you will overcome them and so will your child. In fact, she will likely teach you how.  No one knows how to raise a child but we all figure it out as we go. This child will be no different, you will learn as you go.  And what a teacher you have!  I know you think you can’t but you can handle this!  And when you feel like giving up, call on your tribe!  We will be there!

To the mom that just received your child’s diagnosis, you’re going to be okay.  I know you’re overwhelmed.  Being a mother is the most overwhelming job in the world but it’s also the most rewarding.  It’s okay to feel this way.  Be sure to take time for yourself on this journey. Rest, get a massage, go out with friends, exercise, take a long bath… take care of you.   You don’t have to be a perfect mother and you won’t be.  Accept that and love yourself anyway.  The joy will always outweigh the pain.

You’re going to be okay!

3 Day Cleanse Results

Sometimes your body just needs a cleanse!  Especially after all the indulgences I helped myself to over the holiday season!  Am I the only one that can’t resist Christmas cookies??  I know there are a lot of different types of cleanses out there but I always prefer one that includes actual food.  I’m not into juicing too much or the 24 hour fasts though I understand their benefits.  I just want something to detoxify my body, get rid of those cravings and bloat and just feel better.  When I eat like crap, I feel like crap and I was definitely feeling like crap!  So, I did a 3 Day cleanse, and thought I’d share my results with you!

Why do a 3-Day Refresh?

Sometimes your diet gets off track. You go a little overboard on the weekends, a holiday, or while on vacation. Or perhaps your body hits a plateau, and the scale refuses to budge.

In 3 short days, you can get your health, your energy, and your vitality back on track — all without starving.

With the 3-Day Refresh you’ll conquer your cravings. Lose weight. Start to detoxify your body. Flatten your stomach. Feel lighter and more energized. Your clothes will fit better. And most importantly, you’ll be able to break the cycle of bad nutrition while establishing healthy, new eating habits.

How did I feel during my cleanse?

I’m always a little nervous starting a cleanse because my cravings are strong!  I also worry about feeling weak with such fewer calories that I take in during the cleanse.  But to my surprise, I didn’t feel hungry at all and my cravings were very minimal.  I also never felt weak during the entire 3 days.  In fact, I felt energized most of the time.  On the evening of day 2, I did develop an intense headache.  It may have been my body detoxing but it could’ve also been the fact that I woke up on day 1 with a head cold and by day 2 was having major sinus pressure.  Also, could’ve been the combination of both.  I will say that some people will experience a headache during the detox.  Usually hydrating your body will help though and it will pass.

Overall the cleanse was pretty easy and I ended up with great results!  I didn’t set out to lose a certain number of pounds (I don’t focus on my weight) but I did drop 5 pounds in the 3 days.  I lost my bloat and felt so much better!  My nutrition is back on track and I’m ready to crush this new program that I just started this week!

If you’re interested in learning more about the 3 Day Refresh, shoot me an email and I’m happy to get you set up!

If you’re interested in joining my January fitness bootcamp, fill out this form and I’ll get back with you asap!

5 Habits You Should Start Now

With a new year, often comes change- a new routine, stricter diets, more exercise, less clutter, bigger income, raise, etc.  You get the point.  Most people vow to make some type of positive change with the new year.  The best way to do this is starting with your daily morning habits.  I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “Motivation is what gets you started.  Habit is what keeps you going.”  This could not be more true and I’m proof of it!  There are 5 daily habits that I added to my morning routine 3 years that have had such a huge impact on my life.  I’m going to give you a glimpse into my morning routine and the 5 habits you should start NOW.

Not a morning person!

I’m not nor have I ever been a morning person!  In fact, just the opposite, ask my hubby.  People who know my morning routine and what time I wake up each day, like to assume that I am, in fact a morning person.  But they are wrong.  I’ve just created some habits that have transformed my mornings and make things run so much smoother.

A question I get from my followers all the time is, “How do you stay so motivated to workout and get up so early?”  Here’s the thing, motivation has very little, if anything to do with it.  I have just created these habits which include working out, that have become a part of my daily life.  So for me to sleep in (I do on occasion) or skip a workout (very very rare) feels odd to me because I’m so use to doing these things.  They are habits!

So, how do you create these habits?

First, you need to decide what new habits you want to start and jot them down.  I’ll post a picture of the ones I recommend and you can screenshot them.  Keep that list somewhere that you will see it everyday when you wake up.  Next, you need to create your “why.”  It may sound cheesy but if you don’t know why you want to create these habits, it will make it that much easier for you to just skip them.  Your why needs to be strong, powerful and make you want to jump out of bed.  Write it down and post it with your daily habits.  Read it every morning!  This all sounds easy so far, right?  NOPE!  Of course it’s not easy!  If it were, everyone would do it.  Nothing worth having comes easy.  It takes work and dedication.

Now, it’s time to get your emotions out of the way.  Emotions are great when they are pushing us to do something hard.  But what about the emotions that so often prevent us from reaching our goals?  Those are the ones we have to recognize as emotions and learn to release them.  It’s okay to feel emotions like, “I’m too tired, I don’t want to get up, I don’t feel like working out, I’m too sad to do it today, too stressed, too busy….”  Those are emotions that so many of us let control us and keep us from reaching our full potential.   But it’s time to put your big girl panties on and LET THAT SHIT GO and do the things any way!  It’s time you had some tough love!  Feel it and do it anyway!

We become what we repeatedly do

Read that again!  We become what we repeatedly do!  If you are always making excuses- that is the person you will become.  And no one likes that person, come on!  The good news is that you always have the choice to replace those excuses with new, positive habits that will actually benefit your life.  YOU have that choice!  You choose the kind of person that you become.  Today, decide what kind of person yo want to be and create the habits that will support that!

My morning routine

I’m a huge believer that how you start your morning sets the tone for the day.  That’s why for the last 3 years, I’ve made a conscious effort to wake up each day before my kids for my momma time.  I’ve had a very similar routine that I have been following for these last few years that has been a game changer for me.  As I mentioned before, I’m not a morning person so having this time to myself before having to deal with everyone else’s issues is priceless.

Gone are the days of waking up, rushing around to get 3 kids ready for school and out the door before I even have a chance to breathe or have coffee (I need coffee!). It doesn’t mean that my mornings aren’t very stressful.  I have 3 kids, so of course everything doesn’t always go as planned.  But now, when they wake up, I’m in a peaceful, fully caffeinated state of mind so that I can handle what they throw at me.  I’m telling y’all, major game changer!

I’m going to share with you what my mornings look like.  I highly suggest you read the book My Morning Miracle and really learn how to take back your mornings.  You can thank me later!

5:00- Alarm goes off TIP- Place your alarm (phone) in your bathroom.  It will force you to get up.  Seriously, do it!

5:05- Walk/stumble to the kitchen, start coffee and drink 16 oz water while coffee is brewing.

5:08- Sitting in my favorite chair I meditate for about 10 minutes.  Sometimes I use a guided meditation but not always.  Here are my favorite guided meditations-  Meditation Minis Calm

5:20- Read my daily scripture and spend time with God.  This is the app I use Inspirations

5:30ish- Read person development- You can check out a few of my favorite books here.

5:45- Quickly jot down things that I need to do for the day and list the in order of priority

5:50- Time to get the boys ready for school

6:30- Boys are on bus and now I make my “Momma Crack!”  This is my life line and I can’t workout without it!  Here’s what I use for my pre workout drink, “momma crack.”

6:45- Workout!

After that it’s time for Stella to wake up and be on her way to school and my day really starts!

Take a screenshot of the picture below and make these 5 habits a part of your new routine in 2019.

 

 

 

 

A New Year, A Blank Slate

Does anyone else get as excited about a new year as I do?!  I know you don’t need a new year to start over, set new goals and make big changes.  You can do that any day of the year!  Mondays have always been my favorite for that reason too.  But there is something refreshing about a blank slate, a whole new year to dream big and make things happen.  And as I have for the last 5 years, I have big plans for this new year!  I have set some pretty scary goals but also have committed to changing myself for the better.

I’ll be honest with you, I started to get really down the last few weeks of December.  I had set some big goals last January and I didn’t reach them all.  It can be very disappointing, for sure.  So, I had two choices, I could let those define my future or I could learn and grow from those failures.  And thanks to a dear friend, I decided to NOT focus on the goals that I didn’t reach but instead, focus on what I did accomplish in 2018.  And the list was not that shabby.

Here are a few of my favorite accomplishments from 2018

80 Day Obsession

I started and completed an 80 day program that completely transformed me physically and mentally.  It also challenged me in a way that I had never been challenged.  I’m not gonna lie, it was HARD!  But I stuck to it, stayed committed to my nutrition and my workouts for 13 weeks and the results spoke for themselves.  I literally  cried on the last day because I was so proud of myself and felt so accomplished.  It was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.

Photo Shoot

In January of 2018, I set the goal to complete 80 Day Obsession.  As a reward for completing the program, I promised myself a fitness photo shoot.  This was something I’ve never done before and completely out of my comfort zone.  But I knew at 41 years old, I was going to be in the best shape of my life.  I decided to celebrate that as well as document it!

As the end of the program approached I set the date and scheduled my photo shoot. I was seriously a nervous wreck!  That morning, I went and had my hair and makeup done and showed up for the shoot 20 minutes early, in true Tammy fashion.  My photographer was amazing and put me at ease.  I had such a great time and left there feeling so confident!  It was definitely a highlight of my year and the pictures turned out beautiful.  There is truly no feeling like overcoming your fears and stepping outside your comfort zone.

Earned Vacation

The week following the end of 80 Day obsession and my photo shoot, Chris and I left for Mexico!  How amazing was it going to the beach at 41 years old and in the best shape of my life!!  I had never in my life been more confident strutting around in my bikini!  The best part of this vacation (besides spending it with the love of my life) was that it was a trip I earned by helping other people get started on their on fitness journey.  How cool is that!?  Another highlight of that trip- running into Autumn Calabrese (the creator of 80 DO) and her telling me she liked my outfit and that I looked great!  I died!

Mexico
Modeling

Yep, you read that right!  All 5’3 of me signed on with an agency as a model.  I have to laugh at that a little.  The truth is, ever since I was in middle school, I dreamed of being a model.  I pursued it a few times with little outcome.  To be honest, I don’t think it was very good for my self esteem.  I wasn’t in a place to be able to handle rejection at that age in my life.

Here’s how it happened.  After I received the pictures back from my photo shoot, on a crazy whim, I sent them to a local modeling agency.  I really didn’t expect much but I thought what the hell do I have to lose.  Well, they ended up signing me on and I was even able to book a few gigs over the summer.  I have no plans to become rich or famous from modeling but it sure has been a fun experience so far.  The biggest thing that it has done for me, is boost my confidence.  Not for the reasons you may think.  I’m not getting jobs because I’m the prettiest, in the best shape, etc.  They’re not runway or catalogue jobs!  Remember I’m 5’3 and 41 years old!  It’s the fears that  I’m overcoming fears that has me feeling so proud.   Every time you do something outside your comfort zone, you boost your confidence a little more!

Modeling
Insanity & PiYo Certified

This was a big one too!  For the last 4 years I’ve talked about getting certified to teach Insanity and PiYo classes.  For 4 years, I’ve made excuses for why I couldn’t.  But not this year!  This was my year to face my fears and do all the things!  I had an absolute blast getting certified to teach Insanity with my brother at our annual Beachbody coach event over the summer.  I even got to meet my “girl crush” and one of my fav coaches, Danielle Natoni!  Not gonna lie, I was a little star struck especially when she commented on my abs!  Whaaatttt!!

And then in the fall, I was able to get my PiYo certification from the comfort of my basement.  Turns out that class is a lot harder to teach than I imagined but I look forward to working on it in the new year.

The gang at our annual BB event
Danielle and our master trainer for Insanity certification
Facing more fears

One of the gigs that I booked happened to be at an amusement park.  When I agreed to do this photo shoot, I had no idea  that I would have to actually ride the rides.  See, I have a major fear of heights and I get motion sickness.  While I love taking my kids to this particular amusement park, I never actually ride the roller coasters.  I stick with Stella in the kiddie area and watch the excitement on the boys faces when they come off of the rides.

Not this time.  I had to do it!  I was getting paid to do it!  So, I took my Dramamine, prayed really hard, took several deep breaths and even cussed a little.  But I did it!  I rode the scariest and highest rides at this park.  And I had a blast!  I did get a little sick on day one and may or may not have had to go lie down in the first aid tent.  I rallied though and finished with a bang!

Me! On a roller coaster!!
Growing my business

While my coaching business didn’t end where I had hoped it would.  I had to appreciate the fact that it is still growing and thriving.  Also, the fact that I love what I do and am able to fit it in on my time makes me appreciate it even more.  The last 6-8 months of the year had been really crazy for me with Stella being home all summer, the change in Stella’s school schedule and her added therapies.  The truth is that I didn’t make the time to work my business like I would have.  And I could feel bad about that or accept that this is the season of life that I’m in.  It won’t last forever.  I also have to be super proud of the fact that I may have put less hours into coaching than I would have liked but my income still grew this year.  That is the beauty of this business!  There are few jobs out there that would accommodate my current schedule and still have room for me to grow.  I’m feeling very blessed.

It was a good year!

My word of 2018 that I chose last January was AUTHENTIC.  That word was important to me because I wanted show people the real me, all of me.  No more of just the highlight reel but the good, the bad and the not so pretty.  It was a very freeing year, following this one word.

Though it looks like my theme for last year should’ve been overcoming fears.  I was a bad ass at that all year long!  My plan for 2019- to continue stepping outside my comfort zone and being authentically and unapologetically me.  But my new word this year will be- BECOMING.  This year I will work on becoming my best version, becoming who God intended me to be and becoming the kind of person that gives value to others.  With that I will be focusing on letting go- legging go of other people’s opinions of me, self doubt, things that I can not control, my own limiting beliefs, my excuses and things that do not make me better.

2019 I’m coming for ya!

Happy New Year!