Is it possible to find confidence again as a mom?
Is there such thing as Momfidence?
As a mom and a woman who has struggled with self confidence as long as I can remember, I often try to look back to see at what point it all began. There are certainly a few events in my early teens that didn’t help…like being called flat chested constantly, being called a boy, being teased about having a big butt and things of that nature. But I feel like it started even before then though I can’t pinpoint an exact time.
There was a time when I was carefree and confident, showing everyone I encountered my best Incredible Hulk impersonation. I use to love to make people laugh and really I still do! I actually use to dress like Punky Brewster all of the time and I didn’t even care that people were looking at me funny! I exuded confidence! When my friends were all into dolls and dresses, I was into GI Joes and not wearing shirts. In my early middle school days, I was the only girl on the soccer team and I know all of the boys hated it but I didn’t care because I thought I was awesome! My dream, and I believed with all my heart that it would come true, was to be the first woman in the NBA (of course that was before the WNBA and before I stopped growing at 5’3). Somewhere along the way I lost that swagger though. I guess most of us do.
I want her back
I want that happy go lucky, dreamer, I can be anything I want to be, back! Honestly, it doesn’t matter at what point I lost it, I can’t live in the past. But I can work to get it back, NOW. And that’s what I’m doing everyday! That is what I want to help others do as well. Forget what we were taught and what was ingrained in our minds when we were children. We each have the ability to change that path. You are the one in control of your futures. We have to stop blaming our past, move beyond our limiting beliefs and realize that we are, in fact, capable of amazing things.
It doesn’t matter where you are now. It doesn’t matter what happened to you in the past. What matters, is what you are going to do to change it. Likely, this change will not happen overnight, but making small changes everyday will add up to something wonderful (read the Compound Effect– seriously-NOW). My small changes started with working out everyday, 30 minutes a day. That alone did not bring my confidence back but it was a start. We all want to feel good about ourselves and being healthy, having energy and feeling strong helps do just that. But it also has to come within. Mindset is key to everything in life. If you have a negative mindset, you will have a negative life.
So, how do you change your mindset??
Time, personal development, affirmations, afformations, being grateful, switching out old habits with new positive habits, surrounding yourself with other positive people to name a few. The pain of staying the same has to be worse than the pain of change. You have to want to make the change! I had to make a change, for the sake of my kids, my marriage and my overall sanity. What is this negative, self deprecating attitude doing for you beside making you miserable?
Find your WHY
I talk about this all the time in my challenge groups because I believe it is the core to lasting change. Whether its losing weight, changing your mindset, switching jobs, your career, whatever it is, having a strong, solid why will push you harder.
For me, having my daughter, who happened to be born with an extra chromosome became my why. I was afraid for her future, I was afraid of having a daughter who would end up like me, I was afraid of the people she would encounter in life that would surely take her confidence away. She was perfect just the way she was and is, but I knew that I needed to change so that I could change the world for her. I needed to become a better person so that I could teach others how to also become better people. I needed to have confidence so that I could teach her to have confidence. My kids needed me to be happy so that I could be the kind of mom that all 3 of them needed. I wanted to do something to make my kids proud. I HAD to change! Find your WHY! If you’re reading this, I want to help you become the best version of you. I honestly do, it’s what I love, it’s why I became a coach, it’s my passion, my calling. If you want to work with me one on one, want advice, personal development recommendations, etc, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or find me over on FB https://www.facebook.com/tammyfierceandfit/
Make a commitment to change today! Find your inner Momfidence!